Taking a chance:  I purchased a really good alb (the white garb I wear under my mass vestments or I wear simply with a stole for confessions or evening prayer for example).  Some may wonder what makes a really good alb different from a normal one.  As with so many things in life, the cost of the item and/or the quality of the material has a lot to do with it.  In my case, what made this a really good alb was that it cost about $800 and was made out of some nice material.
 
Many months ago, I “acquired” several large stains on the front of the alb.  I couldn’t tell if they were the result of the oils we use at baptism or if the stains were from the wine or Precious Blood.  I didn’t notice the stains right away so they probably sat there for a week or two before I saw them.  I took the alb to a few dry cleaners but no one could get the stains out.  The stains were obvious and embarrassing enough that I didn’t like to wear this particular alb unless I was wearing it under a chasuble; I was afraid people would think I was one of those really old priests who couldn’t figure out his vestments were dirty!  I would, however, wear it as a last resort at times, BUT I would try hiding the stains by the way I wore my stole or by holding a hymnal or book high enough that people couldn’t see them.
 
After a few weeks of doing this, I decided I would take matters into my own hands.  I remember the nuns who worked in the sacristy of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception in Washington, DC, telling me that you could … at times … wash but not dry items that were marked as dry clean only.  With that little nugget of information tucked away in my brain and knowing I really didn’t have anything to lose if I totally trashed this alb by taking care of it myself (the positive would be it would make a great bulletin story), I decided to wash it.  I figured that since dry cleaning it several times didn’t work, it was time to take some drastic measures.  So to the wash it went.  I pre-treated it and put lots of OxiClean into the water.  I remember gingerly opening the wash machine lid after the first wash to see if I destroyed it, but it looked like any other piece of clothing that went through the wash.  Much to my disappointment, the stains were still there.  So, I decided to pre-treat it again but this time I let it sit overnight.  The following morning, the alb went back into the wash with the last of the OxiClean I had sitting around along with probably way too much laundry detergent.  After this wash, the stains seemed to diminish a bit.  Now I felt empowered.  I decided a trip to the store was necessary to buy whatever “power tools” I could find in the laundry detergent aisle.  I got another box of OxiClean, a large bottle of Clorox 2 Stain Remover and Color Booster and some OxiClean Max Force Pre-Treater Gel.  I was now armed with what I thought was needed to fight this battle.  I applied the Power Gel and scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed; I’m surprised I didn’t scrub a hole in the material.  I let that sit for several hours and then armed the water with two or three scoops of OxiClean, a whole cap of the Clorox 2 liquid and lots of detergent.  I figured I had nothing to lose so it was time to throw in everything I had.  Much to my amazement, the stains almost disappeared.  Now, I REALLY felt empowered.  While the casual onlooker would probably never see the remnants of the stains, being I could see them and knowing the lengths I had gone to get this far, I figured I would keep on going.  After all, I still had a half a bottle of Clorox 2, three-quarters of a box of OxiClean and half the tube of the OxiClean Max Force Pre-Treater Gel.  After the 10 ^th time or so through the washer, the stains were completely gone!  I was utterly amazed I got to this point without destroying the alb.  At one point, I threw in so much OxiClean, Clorox 2 and detergent that suds were coming above the lid.  My utility sink had suds all the way to the top.  This was a battle I was enjoying and was confident I would emerge as the victor!
 
After that 10 ^th wash or so, I took the alb out and was confident my job was done.  I stood there and marveled at my extraordinary work.  As I was marveling at my work and stretching out the now wrinkled fabric, I started to notice some black marks that were appearing out of nowhere.  I was now irritated.  Then I realized I was the cause of the new black blobs that were appearing.  Monsignor Brilliant here, just minutes prior to heading downstairs to rescue the alb from the washer, had polished his black shoes and got black shoe polish under his finger nails or had it someplace on his hand.  After all that work, I now had to contend with black shoe polish on my absolutely perfect clean alb!  UGH! And, of course, I then had to smudge the shoe polish into the alb as I tried to get it off.  Out came the OxiClean Max Force Pre-Treater Gel again and back into the washer it went.  In the end, I WAS victorious.  It took a few more cycles and lots of suds, but the stains disappeared.  It will now go off to the dry cleaner to be pressed.  I was pretty impressed with my work but it was a close call when shoe polish almost sabotaged my efforts.
 
New Home for TALLer Tales:  With this edition of our bulletin, TALLer Tales has found a new home on page 3. As we studied the flow of the bulletin, we thought it would be best to swap pages 2 and 3.  The general information page will now reside on the inside front cover while my column will appear on page 3.
 
Friday Night Reflection Series:  For the next three Fridays in the Emmaus Fellowship Hall immediately following the Stations of the Cross, Fr. John, Fr. Rich and I will offer a reflection on aspects of our missionary calling that will help us “Unleash the Gospel” in word and deed to those around us.  The series will focus on the core values of faith, joy and charity.  Fr. John will kick off the series this Friday (March 29 ^th) with “Faith-filled to the Core: Having faith when times are toughest.”  Fr. Rich will then lead us on Friday, April 5 ^th with “Joyful on the Journey: Where does our lasting joy come from? How do we pass it on?”  I will then conclude the series on Friday, April 12 ^th with “Charitable by Choice: How do you make charity a way of life?”  We hope you will be able to join us.
 
Enjoy the week.  Know of my prayers.
 
In Christ,
 
gmb
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