Breaking Old Habits: It is hard to believe this weekend will be the third weekend that masses have been suspended. Things have certainly been different, not just around the church but indeed all over the world. We’ve had to suspend all of our routines and break some old habits. We’ve also had plenty of opportunities to laugh at some of the things we’ve had to adjust to or create to pass the time!
I’ll tell you this: celebrating Mass in our big empty church is odd. It’s even odder celebrating Mass for a live-streaming crowd with nothing but empty pews, a handful of people, and a small little camera way up in the Organ Loft.
I’ve been a priest for 29 years (yikes, that makes me old). After that long, you get set in your ways; you develop your own style and ways of doing things. One habit that I’ve had to change is where I look during Mass. When I’m at the Altar, I like to look at the Pieta Statue in the back of church if I’m not looking at the Roman Missal. If I’m at the presider’s chair and looking out into the crowd, I like to rotate my “gaze” so that I’m glancing at the four major “quadrants” of the church (basically the four sections of pews). The same would be true when I’m giving my homily. I’ll often use the Stations of the Cross as my reference points. So, celebrating Mass in an empty church before a live-streaming audience posed some challenges for me of where to look.
After each of our live-streamed liturgies, our small crew would gather in the sacristy and critique what took place and offer tips for the next live Mass or prayer. After the second Mass I celebrated for our live-streaming crowd, we discussed where I needed to land my eyes. We were gathered in the sacristy, and the couple who has been helping the most with our live-streaming efforts … well, let’s just say for the sake of this story their names were Richard and Kristine, approached me with a tinge of laughter and made a great point. “Monsignor. The church is empty. YOU KNOW the Church is empty. WE KNOW the Church is empty. THEY KNOW the Church is empty. Even worse, THEY CAN SEE the Church is empty. You don’t need to keep looking around to an empty Church. JUST. LOOK. AT. THE. CAMERA.” “AHHHHHH,” the wise old Monsignor said as he was trying to process what they were saying. Then, suddenly, the light bulb went off. “You have a great point,” he exclaimed with a smile. “Yeah, you’re right! The church is empty. I guess I’d better look at the camera!”
Jesus is in the boat with us! Our life got upended. The whole world got upended. In a matter of days, the entire world was reeling with the effects of the coronavirus. Some have asked me what has been the hardest part so far of this whole experience. It’s an interesting question. Yes, it’s hard knowing all of our public liturgies have been suspended. Yes, it’s hard celebrating Mass in an empty Church. Yes, it’s hard seeing an empty school. But the most significant challenge has been trying to help people keep focused on Jesus and trusting that he will see us through this current crisis. The saturation of news on the topic doesn’t help because that’s all we hear about 24/7. And, the sad part is that we will continue to hear about this 24/7 for the foreseeable future. It’s gotten to the point where we need to limit the time we watch the news or read social media. We cannot become so obsessed and absorbed with the latest statistics or political statements or news that we lose our focus on Christ. Much like I was challenged to keep my eyes fixed on the camera, we need to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus … ESPECIALLY during this worldwide pandemic.
I know of young people who have spent too much time looking at their investment or retirement accounts as the market fluctuates. The old and wise elders of our world would say: “Be patient. You’re young.” Yet people get sick seeing how much money they’ve lost. I know of people who rightly fear the loss of a job or try to figure out how they will make ends meet the longer this crisis continues. To them, I say: just worry about today and today’s challenges. Overall, my mantra has been that EVERYONE needs to deepen their relationship with Jesus and keep their eyes fixed on Him.
I was on the phone with a very faithful person the other day who had a couple of panic attacks over all that was going on. When I counseled her to go to Jesus with her questions, anxiety, and confusion, I remember rather poignantly her humble and almost child-like question that was coming from the core of her very being. She asked, “You mean, I just have to tell him I’m worried and scared?” YES, tell him! Tell him everything that’s on your mind. Tell him you are worried and scared. But then have the courage to sit in silence and wait for him to fill your heart and soul with his peace.
One of my more favorite Gospel passages to quote as I counsel people is the scene where Jesus calms the stormy sea (Matthew 8: 23-27): “He got into a boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but he was asleep. They came and woke him, saying, ‘Lord, save us! We are perishing!’ He said to them, ‘Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?’ Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. The men were amazed and said, ‘What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?’”
This Lent WE are the disciples in the boat. The sudden stormy sea is the pandemic. Much like the disciples did, we have to make our desperate plea to the Lord, in the middle of OUR storm. As we learn to invoke him more and ask him to calm the storms we face, we will learn that Jesus will awaken to our desperate plea and ask why we’re terrified. As he did for the disciples, he will certainly do for us, and rebuke the pandemic and bring great calm to our lives. The key is that we have to TRUST, and we have to bring our desperate plea to Christ. We can’t assume we can sit back and wait because everyone else is asking Jesus to calm the storm. NO. WE have to make that plea. WE have to “wake” Jesus up and let him know we’re terrified. It’s only when we personally make that plea, and thus spend time with him in prayer, that Jesus will be able to bring peace to OUR lives and souls.
So, don’t be afraid! Jesus is in the boat with you! With him “in the boat” and accompanying us on the journey, there is no reason to be afraid.