It’s all about the Hair:  One thing I’ve learned as a result of growing up with all sisters is that you have to be very careful with the hair comments.  That principle applied when I was young, and it continues to apply now.  I’ve learned that it’s best not to say anything.  But then I’ve learned the hard way that silence can also get you in trouble, especially if you say nothing when the hairstyle or hair color is totally different.  I’ve also learned that even a nano-second longer than normal glance or a downright stare (while you’re thinking to yourself, “WHAT in the WORLD did you do to your hair this time?) will inevitably also get you in trouble.  But that doesn’t stop an older brother from doing the normal older brother routine.  At least when I was young, I could always retreat to my room (the joy of having all sisters was that I always had my own room).
 
One of my sisters must take over an hour to do her hair in the morning.  Then, when it’s just right, the hair spray comes out.  Watch out!  If you’re ever near the room when the hairspray can comes out, you’re better off putting on a mask or finding the quickest escape route to fresh air.  We often joked (and even tried) bouncing a coin or coins off her hair-sprayed hair to determine the “quality” of the hair spray.  We often joked this was our version of quality control for her hair spray and/or hairstyle.  It became so known that we did this that even our friends and family would comment about the coin bouncing routine!
 
A couple of weeks ago, I was walking over to Church on a Saturday for the 6:00 p.m. mass. It was a cold, rainy, and dreary day.  I was walking over with my umbrella and caught up with one of my sisters and her husband.  Let’s just say for the sake of this story, it happened to be Jackie and Lonnie.  As they were getting out of the car, Jackie activated her super-sonic umbrella.  That thing unfolded faster than I could blink, and even before a speck of rain could hit her.  Once her umbrella was in place, I made a comment, “Yes, it’s all about the hair.”  Jackie concurred.  While Jackie has the super-sonic unfolding umbrella to protect her (hair) from the elements, I have the humongous super-wide gust buster version.  My umbrella protects me about 5 feet in either direction; there is nothing worse than putting vestments over rain soaked clothing and then having to stay that way for an hour or so as you celebrate mass.  As I was moving over to share my umbrella with Lonnie, he made the mistake of opening his mouth.  “I’m not sure why she needs an umbrella,” he said.  Both Jackie and I were a bit perplexed with his comment since it was raining, and without an umbrella Jackie would get wet.  Sensing our confusion, he opened his mouth again and got further in trouble.  I may not be married, but I know the limits!  He hadn’t even completed his thought, and I knew he was headed for some significant trouble.  Without prompting, Lonnie completed his stream of thought.  “Mike, you’ve been around when she puts hair spray on.  Her hair should be waterproof AND water repellant.  Water should just slide right off!”  At this point, Lonnie and I both burst out into laughter.  Then Jackie looked at me and said, “You guys made him this way!” Nope, you can’t blame me for this one, I thought to myself.  But then again, I’ll get blamed anyway because I’m the older and only brother!
 
Mass Counts:  During the month of October, each parish was requested, as part of our ongoing pastoral planning process, to count the number of mass participants for two consecutive weekends.  Our counts took place during the middle of October (October 12-13 and October 19-20).  It’s amazing how the actual numbers put things into perspective.  We all know and talk about the fact we’ve seen a dwindling number of people attending mass.  I have my own theories on this, namely that people have created such over-scheduled lives that faith and God often take a back seat in daily life.  I also say this is the great work of Satan.  He keeps us so busy that he accomplishes his goal of keeping us from God.
 
The dwindling number of people attending mass is certainly not a problem isolated to our parish.  This is something we see across the whole Archdiocese, and indeed, throughout the world.  To put things into perspective, our church seating capacity is about 1,400.  During the weekend of October 12-13, we had a total of 1,700 people (1,537 adults and 163 children/teens) attend our five masses.  The following weekend we had 1,583 people (1,426 adults and 157 children/teens).  Our average attendance was 1,642 per weekend.  The breakdown per mass was even more fascinating to me as we have seen a shift in what masses are the most popular.  On October 12-13, the total counts were as follows:  4:00 p.m.: 512  |  6:00 p.m.: 198 | 8:00 a.m.: 181 | 10:00 a.m.: 402 | 12:00 p.m.: 407.  The following weekend looked pretty similar:  4:00 p.m.: 456  |  6:00 p.m.: 234 | 8:00 a.m.: 165 | 10:00 a.m.: 414 | 12:00 p.m.: 314.  Years ago, the 12:00 noon mass would have been the most populated; now it has dropped down to number 3.  Equally fascinating was the fact that the mass with the most children/teens was the 12:00 noon mass.  While the 10:00 a.m. was a close second, the fact remains that the 12:00 noon mass had more children and teens in attendance both weekends.  To me, what is most disheartening and sad is the following reality.  Given that our current census shows some 9,143 individuals in the parish, even if all of the weekend mass goers were actually registered parishioners (and we know they’re not as we get plenty of visitors from other parishes), less than 20% of our parish attended mass both weekends.  Do we have lots of evangelization to do!  You bet!  I know we’re not alone in this reality, but the numbers certainly put things into perspective!
 
Just for comparison sakes, the numbers for 2014 were as follows:  4:00 p.m.: 580  |  6:00 p.m.: 300 | 8:00 a.m.: 281 | 10:00 a.m.: 602 | 12:00 p.m.: 447.  That gave us a total of 2,210 for the weekend.
 
The numbers for the annual mass counts also serve a practical reality in that they help us set-up for the weekend masses.  With concrete numbers in hand, we have a better idea of the approximate number of hosts that are needed for each liturgy.  These numbers will also be compared with the offertory envelope numbers to see if we can determine any trends from the data.
 
Enjoy the week.  Know of my prayers.
 
In Christ,
 
gmb
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