The Overprotective Pastor:  A week ago this past Wednesday, I gave a talk at the Country Club of Detroit.  This is my fourth time addressing a crowd at the Country Club of Detroit at the invitation of some friends.  They are the same people who provide us with the bibles we place in the pews and hand out each Christmas.  These friends generously sponsor the entire night!  This year, we had just over 160 people in attendance; I fill half the seats and my generous friends fill the other half.  This annual event has turned out to be an excellent night for fellowship and evangelization.  At the same time, it’s also an event in support of our school as our hosts present me each year with a generous check for the Monsignor Bass Scholarship Fund.  This year, they gave me a check for $15,000!  For my part, I extend an invitation to our staff and those who have participated in some of our Thursday evening sessions over the years.  This year, I focused my talk on what is known as St. Paul’s “Last Will and Testament” as found in 2 Timothy 4:1-5: “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingly power: proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching.”  My post-dinner talk then offered a little explanation on the passage from 2 Timothy and about how we can persistently witness to our Christian faith in an intensely growing secular world.
 
As dessert was being placed on the tables, I gathered a few people to help distribute some handouts.  I then made sure the microphone worked, and my talk was in the correct page order.  Once I knew I was ready to start, I decided to make one last pit stop to the bathroom (among other things, to make sure the red sauce from dinner didn’t land on my suit, that I didn’t have something stuck in my teeth and that I looked presentable).  As I walked into the bathroom, I saw a familiar face walk out of the stall I was walking into; he then went over to the sink area.  Let’s just say for the sake of this story his name was Dino, and he happened to be the new boyfriend of, well, let’s say her name is Mary Claire.  Dino said hello and then went about washing his hands.  But as I walked past him and toward the stall he came out of, there was this look of utter terror on his face.  I walked into the stall and closed the door behind me.  As I closed the door, I realized I walked into a foggy mist of something.  I wasn’t sure what I was now breathing, but there was going to be a lot of it since the “foggy mist” expanded from practically my waist to the ceiling (and that’s a lot of space).  I didn’t want to walk out right away and into another stall because I didn’t want to embarrass Dino since he seemed like the likely culprit of whatever was filling the stall and he was most likely still drying his hands.  I knew it wasn’t air freshener (and there was NO WAY someone could have used that much air freshener that would have generated that much fog)!  Plus, most air fresheners have a distinct smell.  This was more like a foggy mist that didn’t have a smell.  I couldn’t figure it out.  But I was now convinced that Dino was behind the cause of this situation.  Suddenly, it dawned on me.  Dino was VAPING in the stall.  That’s exactly what this was hovering in my enclosed little cabin.  Interestingly, the “fog” just sat there like a stalled weather front; it wasn’t going anywhere.  Now I was perplexed.  How was I going to tell Mary Claire’s parents (who were also in attendance at this talk) that the new boyfriend was caught vaping secretly in the bathroom at the Country Club of Detroit?  I was growing irritated as I was inhaling this stuff because I wondered why he just didn’t go outside and vape.  At this point, I would have preferred an air freshener!  This was just annoying.  But even worse, I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Mary Claire’s parents about the encounter and that their daughter was dating some bathroom stall “vapor-izer.” I’ve been known to be an overprotective son (my latest and most frequent charge these days), brother and uncle, but today I was the overprotective pastor.  This wasn’t acceptable.  Give me a break.  Vaping?  Even worse, hiding in an enclosed stall at the Country Club of Detroit.  What else does he do?  My antennae were now all up.  I wasn’t only in overprotective mode, but I was also in “investigative mode” to figure out what else this kid was hiding!  The rest of the evening went as planned, I gave my talk, and the wonderful evening concluded.  But I still had to deal with “Dino the Vaporizer!”
 
Several days later at Church, Mary Claire’s parents approach me.  We started chatting about the talk, and then they wanted to “clear the air” about the incident at the Country Club of Detroit with Dino.  As the story is being told to me, Mary Claire’s parents were laughing.  After Dino emerged from the bathroom at the Country Club of Detroit, he went straight to the table and told his fellow table partners what happened (including Mary Claire’s parents).  He walked into that stall and someone before him had been vaping and created the foggy mess.  When he walked out, he saw me walk in knowing full well I probably thought he was the culprit behind the vaping mist hovering in that bathroom.  He was horrified at the thought (and this then explains the look of terror on his face when he saw me walk into that stall).  He told Mary Claire’s parents that he was so horrified that he didn’t want to leave my sight the rest of the evening because he was worried I would think he was just going back to smoke his non-existent e-cigarette and vape away.  He asked Mary Claire’s parents to help clear his name!  I guess when you’re the “new” boyfriend it’s one thing to worry about impressing the parents and older siblings, but having to impress the pastor too would cause anyone to sweat.  Don’t worry kid; the air’s been cleared … so to speak.  But, unfortunately, the “Dino the Vaporizer” label might linger for a bit.
 
Okay, I got a little carried away with the story.  As promised, I’ll pick up on the explanations about Our Lady of Guadalupe and the Divine Mercy Image next weekend.
 
Enjoy the week.  Know of my prayers.
 
In Christ,
 
gmb
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